I don't know how to tell you this in person so I'm writing it. Basically, I really like you. You probably won't like me because... well, who would like me? But I don't want to ruing our friendship. I really care about you Gee. I just can't deny how I feel anymore.
This isn't the first of the many letters I've written, but never gave. to Gerard. I really want to tell him but I'm just scared of his reaction and reply. If he was to reject me... wait sorry, when he rejects me, I don't know what I'd do. There's no way Gerard Arthur Way would like me. I'm just, Ray, and he's a fucking sex god. When he cries, I have to restrain myself from running to him and holding him in a tight embrace while he cries into my shoulder. Whoa, that was slightly creepy... Stupid fucking highschool crushes! I slammed my locker door shut and somehow managed to trap some of my fro in it. "Fucking hell! Why today?!" I cursed under my breath. I heard Gerard laugh as I struggled to open the door to release my hair. "Need some help Ray?" "Uh... What do you think Gee?" He just laughed again and moved to pick the key up from the ground. I was son released from the annoying metal door. He handed me back my key and his hand lingered on mine. He snapped out of his sort of daze state and pulled his hand away and blushed slightly. "Thanks' Gerard." "No problem. Come on, time for lunch." "Just a sec. I forgot to get my money out." "Ray you dipshit. Don't get your fro trapped again." he joked. I found the money and carefully shut the locker door. We then walked to the canteen to see a very hyper Frank and a slightly annoyed looking Mikey. "What took you so long Gee? He's been driving me insane!" referring to Frank. "Sorry Mikes. Ray got his fro stuck again." We burst out into a fit of laughter and Frank ended up on the floor. When we'd all gotten our food and sat, the conversation soon turned to girls. I kept my head down when they started to talk about which girl they currently have a crush on. Mikey noticed me with my head down, "Ray, can I talk to you a sec?" "Uh, sure Mikes." As we walked away Frank whistled and I made a mental note to get revenge later. "Ray, are you, like, gay? I'm only asking because you seemed really awkward back there." "Yeah Mikey. I'm gay. I probably should have told you but I was just afraid." "Don't worry Ray. We're still friends and your sexuality doesn't change anything. In fact, a friend of mine named Salma once said, 'You can't help who you love'." "When did she say that?" "When I told her I was bi. Just do me a favour, don't hit me." and with that, he kissed me. It was only a short kiss and when he pulled away he said, "I'll be sure to tell my brother your a good kisser." he winked and smiled at my reaction. How the fuck did he know? "Mikes, how did you...?" "...know it was my brother? You left one of your notes to him in a book you let me borrow." "One more question. Mikey, why did you kiss me?" "I've never actually been with a guy and I wanted to know what it'd be like. Oh and your gonna have to find out on your own if Gerard likes you. I mean I might know but where'd the fun be in telling you. See ya later!" With that he turned and walked away. I skipped the rest of school and lay on my bed, just thinking of Gee. The way he walked, the way he smiled, that kind of shit. I remember looking over at Gerard earlier at lunch and seeing that he'd pulled out the comic he was working on and started to work on it some more, while Frank and Mikey talked on and on about girls. Maybe he's gay, or at least bi. At least then I'd have a chance. Fuck it. I'm just gonna come out to Gerard after asking him if he's bi or gay. It probably won't go well but at least I tried.
~~~At Gerard and Mikey's house~~~
Mikey went out to get some food and Frank went with him. Good luck to Mikey. We just have to hope he doesn't kill Frank. "Hey Gerard, can I like, um, ask you a question?" "Ask away Ray." "You know today at lunch, why didn't you join in the conversation?" "Uh... I could ask you the same question Toro." "Okay, let me rephrase the question. What I really wan to know is, did you not join in the conversation because your gay?" He nodded his head."Okay, so I told you. Your turn." "Fair enough. I didn't join the conversation because I'm gay and I really like this guy." "Who?" "It doesn't matter. There's no way he'd like me." "For God's sake Toro!" He kissed me. Holy fucking shit! Gerard fucking Way kissed me! His hand was in my fro and mine was pushing him deeper into the kiss. His soft lips tasted of coffee and whatever he'd taken to get rid of the coffee smell. The front door opened and of course it would be Frank to walk in and shout "I never knew you guys liked each other." Gerard reluctantly broke the kiss and looked to Frank. "There's a reason why Frank. Its because you have the biggest mouth out of all of us in this group!" Frank just laughed it off. "Thanks Mikey." "No worries. Oh, and, I got you something. If your gonna be fucking my brother, I expect you to use it." He threw a pack of condoms at me and Gerard just laughed as he ran away before I could hit him. "Gee. Can I ask you a question?" "Sure Ray." "Will you be my boyfriend?" "Fuck yeah! I love you Ray." "I love you too Gee. Forever and always." "Well... I'm just gonna...." Frank said before charging up the stairs to Mikey's room. What a way to kill a moment.